To make a very long, decades-worth, story short, I have a comment on this photo, and life and marriage and children in general. And if you want to call me out and say I'm some self-centered fag who couldn't raise kids, go ahead, and I'll just think of all the people I've met who have kids that they shouldn't have had because they are the result of a snowstorm, or a blackout, or a hurricane, and "what else was there to do but have sex" kids. Got me? Good. This is a photograph of someone I went to college with. We lived on the same floor, and he lived across the hall from the guy who modeled for me all the time (I was a photography major) so that's how I knew this guy. I've thought back to the college years, and I said to myself "I don't know if we ever shared a meal in the dining hall, or even sat next to, or across from each other" during those years, but we definitely didn't have a hate relationship at all. It was "hey, what's up?" and I'm sure a keg party or two. But, sorry to say, I don't have any outstanding memories of the guy in this photo. Some time ago, a fellow resident of the second floor decided that we needed to have a reunion in NYC, and whoever could go, would go. We used each other and Facebook and all that to locate the lost, and find out who was married, had kids, was doing well in their profession, or, in one case, had died prematurely. This guy couldn't make the reunion. He had a great (the GREATEST) excuse: he was living in Italy. WOW. Fuckin' Italy. I'd KILL to leave the good ol' red white and blue behind for the flag of Italy. Yeah, I'd probably leave my family (two brothers, two sisters, four nieces, two nephews, and two living parents) to relocate to Italy. But, my health dictated otherwise. Anyway. I've photographed hundreds of people in 33 years. Families. Brothers. Sisters. Brothers and sisters. The family dog. You name it. And there's always a story to tell. Mostly? There was arguing and fake smiles and "you're gonna get it when you get home" and a mother, father, and kids, all in the same room, and they couldn't "be themselves" and just have a nice family portrait taken. And I'm good. And I'll give you a hint. The smile? It's in the eyes. Not on the pearly white, Ultra-Brite smiles. THOSE ARE FAKE! I've seen professional models whip off hundreds of fabulous smiles because that's what they were paid to do. But it just shocked me, as a photographer's assistant, to see that these smiles weren't because they (the subjects) were happy. They were BEING PAID. So back to this photo. WOW! I picked one of the bunch my buddy has sent me, because I see something in every photo with his son and daughter and dad: they love each other. They have no problems with "physical space" and there's no scowling like "is this over yet?" There's love. I see it in their eyes. And in every picture he sends with him and his son, or him with his daughter, or, even better, a picture someone took of him. HE CLEARLY LOVES LIFE, and is living it to the fullest. You know how I know? Because I worked as an assistant to a very famous portrait, celebrity and fashion photographer, and he photographed me, on many occasions. And he said one thing to me: Bernard, you have the saddest eyes. And you can't smile. And he's right. I know what's behind my facade, my life, and I might have a spontaneous smile here or there, and I've been told I have a great smile, but in front of a camera? Forget it. I can't fake a smile, and my eyes are the windows to my soul, and my soul is wounded. And it won't ever heal. That's another story. So when I see photos of Kevin and Ian and Chiara (KEY-ARE-AH) I just love them. I love them because they renew my faith in family. (Yes, he is a single dad). They renew my faith in the dropped bellies of the women about to give birth right in front of me, and I pray the kid has a great life, and isn't the result of some calamity, natural disaster, or the power being out. Inotherwords: the parents fucked, just because they had nothing better to do, and they didn't use protection and guess what? There's a whole bunch of 9/11 babies out there, and I'd love to interview all of them. They exist just because their parents were fucking stupid while they were fucking. They didn't think of the consequences...and if oops! became "you're pregnant" I'm personally ProLife, but I'm really ProChoice because it's not my body, and I'm gay, and I won't be in that situation. I see very few men, and I'm using that word specifically, who make GREAT fathers, whether married, divorced or whatever. And I think guys who get divorced get the short end of the stick. What about Fathers' Rights? So, happy birthday to my buddy in Italy. I'm jealous. Of where you live, and of the fact that I will never, ever, EVER know what it's like to have a son or a daughter who loves me, unconditionally. Oh, and gS? I see a lot when I look at photographs. Thanks for sending them. They don't bore me at all. Not in the least. Glad we're friends now. What the hell were we doing at Syracuse anyway?
Saturday, October 20, 2012
White on white
translucent black capes
Back on the rack
Bela Lugosi's dead
The bats have left the bell tower
The victims have been bled
Red velvet lines the black box
Bela Lugosi's dead
Undead undead undead
The virginal brides file past his tomb
Strewn with time's dead flowers
Bereft in deathly bloom
Alone in a darkened room
The count Bela Logosi's dead
Undead undead undead
Friday, October 19, 2012
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies.
A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The head of a charity in northeastern Ohio where Republican vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan and his family were photographed cleaning dishes over the weekend said Monday that Ryan was not authorized to be on the premises and "did nothing" while there.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Candy Crowley (CNN's STATE OF THE UNION) and tonight's Presidential Moderator, is a big gal, and has a rather "unusual" first name. And she's risen to the top. Here's to you Candy. You worked like a dog to get where you are tonight. Kudos to you. And all the women you inspire
• Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.
• Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
• Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
• Education is an admirable thing,
but it is well to remember from time to time
that nothing that is worth knowing
can be taught.
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Posted by B.man at 10/16/2012 05:43:00 AM