Thursday, July 05, 2012

To the "non-Caucasian man" who slashed my new tire at Costco

Photo of the perp removed because someone in Oregon cared about my safety. And that was enough for me to think twice.

Still – the slicer is a turd.

And my friendship with Liz, and her note, were and are priceless. Thanks for making my day, Liz!

You, you dirty motherfucker. I know it was you. You were tailing me in the parking lot as well as in the store. I didn't notice because THE MANAGER and OTHER EMPLOYEES noticed. So you had to get someplace quicker than I was driving in front of you, so I, inadvertently, still had my right-hand turn signal on, although I was making a left (we've ALL made that mistake) and I was looking to see if the LEFT was clear, but no, you had to pull OUT OF THE LANE, go AROUND ME TO THE LEFT so you could make your RIGHT HAND TURN. 

First off: driving lessons. Second: etiquette.

I'm really tired of hearing "motherfuckingcocksuckingfaggotmotherfucker" hurled at me by some insane passerby who has no clue who I am (I could be your kid's teacher, but at the rate you're going, I doubt they'll MAKE IT to college)!

So you decide to tail me in the parking lot, and I did my best to ignore you (there were going to be no winners, and I don't hurl invectives at anyone...people could be carrying guns these days.

But, nope. It was a pretty decent knife, for you to slash my brand new $183 (+ $15 service fee) Michelin tire. Thanks. Much appreciated. I'm glad I was stalled in the store, because I could have been on the highway, and might possibly have had an accident and either killed someone, or have been killed. But, thankfully, my new tire was a puddle of black vulcanized rubber by the time I got to it. Really, thanks. Bravery untarnished on your part.

I know that was you (and I made it a point to say "non-Caucasian" but I'd like to add "of Hispanic descent" because of the hat you were sporting from some South American country.

What goes around comes around pal. And there's a big one waiting for you. I called the cops, but after two hours gave up. I know that's you in the photo above. You were too interested in me and "my activities" when I re-entered the store. What? Did you hide in the parking lot to see the look of shock on my face? I'm a little bully that you are. So motherfucker right back at you, and I hope a cop pulls you over because a tail light is out, and you get caught with your kid and dope in the car (referring to drugs, not your female passenger.)

I'm sorry I didn't face you off in the store. Then again, you might have whipped out a gun, and killed a few people, which wouldn't have  been right, but it wasn't worth it to me.

Thanks to all the guys in automotive and the store manager.

Costco. Waterbury. The best people work there. Including goofy Dave in Photo Finishing!


fatz said...

what a turd.

fatz said...

No wonder he was in such a hurry, you made him late for his biscuit fix. Makes sense now. What an a**hole.