Saturday, November 06, 2010

The Bump [1970s] = Dance
A Bump [1990s - now] = Death

$1 that could save your life.

Thank you, iTunes, 

for making this movie available for 

a buck.

Now: make it free.

Friday, November 05, 2010

Look! Up in the sky!
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's DAVID VANCE!
EROTIC DREAMS by David Vance | Miami

This calendar is a classy representation of the EROTIC DREAMS, a smoldering compendium of the male nude by photographer David Vance, Miami. I can't wait to see which images made the "cut," so to speak. I have to say, I'm partial to the cover image for sure. I'd love to know how it was done, but asking David Vance that question would be akin to asking David Blaine how he does his tricks!!!

Get your calendar on Amazon here.

Smokes, Coffee & DJ Frank Stallone!

Throw off those sheets & move your feet!
DJ Frank Stallone Mix


Hammer Time | Batman #8
Heritage Auctions

Born this day in 1911 | Roy Rogers

Elton John | Roy Rogers [2008]

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Not Lisa Lyons as DIANA by Robert Mapplethorpe

Ever wonder what it was like?

"How would you like to disappear?"
Cruising [d. William Friedkin]

The Basilica of the Immaculate Conception
Waterbury CT
Interior, Halloween Morning

The Basilica of the Immaculate Conception
Waterbury CT
Exterior, cleared of cars

photographs ©bernardmlynchjr
watermark embedded
not to be used without written permission

Two books which changed my life:
Robert Mapplethorpe [gift of DAS]
Diane Arbus [gift of DMV]

Born this day in 1971 | Rick Martin
It Gets Better

President Obama: It Gets Better

Must See DVD | Where God Left His Shoes

What if this were your family?

Give President Obama time.

Even Rome wasn't built in a day.

Sarah Palen is dangerous.
She speaks first, and rarely listens.

Photographed by Shamus Ian Fatzinger
Photographer, Washington DC

President Barack Obama
Hope still lives.

Photographs by Shamus Ian Fatzinger

I voted. For Hope.
Did you?

The Vault | el dia de los Muertos exhibition 1996
Photos & Photos, Bal Harbour, FL

Monday, November 01, 2010

All Saints' Day | St Bernard de Clairvaux

The Miraculous Lactation of St Bernard

The Vault | 1980
REPORT Magazine, Syracuse University

I just about got tossed out of Newhouse for this one.
It was late at Ryan's (Syracuse's gay disco from 1978 - 1982),
and I spotted this character. He never moved. All. Night. Long.
He just stood there, conveniently parked under a spotlight,
with a cat o' nine tails (whip) in his hand.

Musta been the moment, or the fact that I recently started taking PHOTO 301,
the introductory photography course at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University.

Either way, now I had a camera in my hands, a force-field all around me which would protect me from all the denizens of "BIZARRO" world, and I could talk to anyone.

And that I did.

I remember this guy's name was Frank. He was wearing a leather vest (not in this photograph) and he had one of those black name tags with white engraving, with a pin, meaning he wore it.
A lot. Also on the name tag was the title PRESIDENT, and below that the white-letter engraving:


Now I wasn't exactly raised on a farm in Connecticut, but we did have countryside, and my parents were big on taking Sunday drives, with the four of us piled in the deep blue Plymouth Valiant.

So yeah, I saw barns, and silos, and pigs and cows and all that, and, since I was the eager-beaver good boy in Catholic school, I knew that F.F.A. (or FFA) meant FUTURE FARMERS OF AMERICA.

Well have I got NEEEWWS for you.

I quickly learned about the FIST FUCKERS of AMERICA, but it would be decades before I could do that math. And another couple of years before I actually saw, well, nevermind.

Frank stunk to high-heaven ("man-funk") and I had him come up to the photo labs deep in
the bowels (ha-ha!) of Newhouse II.

There was all kinds of scandal afterwards, and you just know that anyone who saw this hard-core leatherman said I was either fucked by him, or he sucked my cock or something equally absurd, and TOTALLY out of the question.

I remember this much about "Frank the president of the FFA" (oh, and I forgot the little pink pig which dangled from his leather vest.)

He was so proud of the fact that he had just been in a movie. A real movie? I asked? Yeah, a real movie, he answered. Not even thinking it might have been a porn movie, I asked him what the title of the movie was, thinking maybe, just maybe, I'd heard of it.

"What was the name of the movie, Frank?"

"Cruising" he answered. I hadn't heard of it.

"Is it new? I haven't heard of it."

"Yeah, it's new. It's either just come out, or it's coming out shortly. It's by that guy who directed THE EXORCIST" he said to me.

I'd heard of The EXORCIST. I hadn't seen it yet, because it was supposed to be really bad, and I knew kids who used to read the paperback book in 8th grade, wrapped in brown kraft grocery bags, so no one would know what they were reading. A couple of kids got caught reading it, and I didn't know what was so bad, but I do know they were punished, made to stay after school, had to speak with the parish priest (don't forget, I went to Catholic grammar AND high school). Then their parents were called. I never got to ask any of the kids who read the book what the big deal was about because we were all spoken to by the big-time parish priest. And all I knew was that this was a book which could send you straight to hell.

Shit. I always got in trouble anyways, so I didn't want to get the shit kicked out of me
for some book which needed to be wrapped in grocery store bag paper.

"Really? THE EXORCIST? Wow. He must be famous."

"Yeah, he is. Wait 'til the movie comes out."

"Why? Is it scary like THE EXORCIST?"

"No. It's worse."

Frank stunk so much, other people using the other three of the four "hot light" studios
complained, and I had to hurry up and finish, and have him leave the building.

I remember he used a pink hair brush which I dutifully brought with me, but his hair was
so disgusting and he smelled so badly, I threw the brush out.

I remember getting yelled at by Tony Golden, then a professor, now the head of the photography program.

"Never bring in people you meet in bars to this school's photo studio again. Do you understand?"

I was scared shitless. Worse than THE EXORCIST? And I was in a lot of trouble just for taking the photograph.

Peter Wilkinson, editor-in-chief of REPORT ("REPORT is an independent magazine published monthly by and for Syracuse University students.") saw the photo and said it was perfect for the cover of the upcoming October-slash-Halloween issue,
and would I let him put the photo on the cover.

Sure! I said.

I had never been published before, in my life.

So this slice of THE VAULT is my very first published piece of college work.
The cover of REPORT magazine.

The credit line in the masthead reads COVER PHOTOGRAPH|Bernard M Lynch.

It took me years (not too many) to realize I was running parallel to Robert Mapplethorpe and
the as-of-yet unheard of Diane Arbus.

Fuck that school.

And fuck Tony Golden.

I'm still laughing.

And I'm surprised I still have only one copy...some 30 years later.
Faded, yellowed, and water-stained.

But nothing Photoshop couldn't fix.

And in the great words of the late Joan Crawford:


And every single syllable of this story is TRUE TRUE TRUE!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Hallowe'en [1952]
1st Thermonuclear Bomb Detonated
Over The Marshall Islands

This Hallowe'en in 1941
Mount Rushmore Completed

Paul Outerbridge v Freddie Kruger

Ralph Eugene Meatyard

Richard Avedon | Dovima with Elephants

The New York Hippodrome | 1918
Harry Houdini, Magician with Jennie the Elephant

Erik Weisz Died on Hallowe'en 1926

Sylvia in My Studio 1981 | Helmut Newton

Carla Bruni Photographed by Helmut Newton

Born on Hallowe'en | 1920
Helmut Newton

Hallowe'en [2007]

Hallowe'en [1978]

Homage to Mapplethorpe | Pumpkin Anus

Happy Hallowe'en!

Robert Mapplethorpe | Halloween

The Godfather of Hallowe'en
Robert Mapplethorpe
The X Portfolio (5 of 10)

There are ten (10) photographs in the entire X portfolio. Here, I have presented five, half of the entire series. I have seen them all, and they are very difficult to find online. Tune in later...I may need to do some scanning. And in the words of the late, great Saint Mickey "a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!"