Monday, June 30, 2008

They're NOT thinking...
"Heath Ledger's lovely penis..."

Have you seen this movie?
Has Todd Haynes seen the ADVERTISING for this movie?


Well, it seems that our "friends" over at TLA Video think this is a movie we MUST see.

Now, that's the advertising you see on TLA Video's website and they even list THREE (3) reasons why you should see this movie, as evidenced above. And I quote "Of course, Heath Ledger is brilliant...."

What you AREN'T seeing about this movie, is the advertising in the Summer 2008 catalog, recently received in the mail, and, I'm sorry to say, something I tore up in disgust (I'll be dumpster-diving later!)

In the HOLLYWOOD FULL FRONTAL section (page 3, if my memory serves me) is the following entry regarding I'M NOT THERE:
"...we did love seeing the late Heath Ledger's lovely penis..."
Necrophilia and cock-sightings...or something like that.

Heath Ledger did one of the bravest things an actor could have done, perhaps in the history of cinema. He took on the role of Ennis Del Mar in 2005's blockbuster BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. He didn't so much as take on the role, as he "became" Ennis Del Mar. Sadly, Heath Ledger's life came to a very unfortunate, untimely, unpredictable, and, yes, preventable, end. To leave the role of Ennis Del Mar and BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN behind as part of his legacy, for generations to come, is beyond heroic.

It seems also that Mr. Ledger was one of the many stars portraying Bob Dylan in Todd Haynes' acclaimed bio-pic I'M NOT THERE, one of the best films of the year, according to no less than The New York Times, Rolling Stone, and The Village Voice.


According to no less than Scott Cranin, Managing Editor for (and I quote!):
I'm sorry the comment about Heath Ledger's penis offended you. I fully admit it was tasteless and gross. However my job is not to be tasteful, it's to sell DVDs. That short comment has sold hundreds of DVDs by a gay filmmaker that would not sell otherwise.
Let this be a lesson to all male actors in "the industry." No matter how "brilliant" your star-turn, what really matters, at least in terms of selling DVDs, is "can we see your lovely penis" in the movie.

I guess Mr Cranin and those over at TLA Video are right. I would never have purchased a movie by a gay filmmaker, especially, ummm, what's his name? Todd Haynes? (Hmmm. Have I heard of him before?)

No. TLA Video is absolutely on the money, for the money:

Gay men only purchase DVDs (by the hundreds, according to Mr Cranin's email) JUST BECAUSE WE CAN SEE THE LATE HEATH LEDGER'S LOVELY PENIS.

Seems TLA Video left that remark off the website as one of three reasons to purchase the movie. Oh, and in the Summer 2008 catalog, they also neglected to tell me if his lovely penis was erect, flaccid, cut, uncut, or of considerable length and/or girth. Does he shave his balls? Did he "manscape" for the role? Probably not, after all, it's BOB DYLAN we are talking about.

So much for porn.

So, guys, if this offends you as much as it offends me, how about a little support here, and contact:

234 Market Street - 4th Floor
Philadelphia, PA 19106
United States of America
Phone: 1-215-733-0608 ext. 1
Toll Free: 1-888-TLA-DVDS
Fax: 1-215-733-0668


Gay pride. Indeed.

Here's how I'd rather remember Heath Ledger:

©remains with the original photographer;
photo-manipulation ©


Anonymous said...

I don't see what's so offensive about saying a person has a lovely penis, post-humously or otherwise. I welcome journalists and copy writers the world over to wax poetic about the loveliness of my genitals after my death. I think you should gently dab away the foam that's gathering around the corners of your lips and find a better outlet for your outrage. said...

Still, I think you missed my (the) point. The managing editor, while acknowledging the tastelessness of the remark, also said it was the only way to sell movies by a director whose films would remain unsold otherwise.

And would you really want your friends (are they considerable in number?) gathered around your stiff one saying "but he had the best dick?"

Yeah, I'm outraged, and the foam is long gone, but the best side of the equation is that I've had my rabies shots.

Have you?