Saturday, July 29, 2006

Problems o/t Rich & Famou$

So who knew Aaron Spelling ("Dynasty") died.
Seems Tori's gotta keep an eye on her bank account now.
$1,000,000 just doesn't go as far as it used to.
Does it, bitch?

Work Out lately?

I have no fucking idea what they are talking about with "Work Out" being a reality show. As the token fag at Ballys, I can tell you that there's nothing like being on the treadmill tying Freddie Mercury's mother down looking at the mirror in front of me, watching the "straight" guys watching me. I'm glad I wear orange to blend 6am. It's ever funnier to "catwalk" upstairs when I'm not quite up to banging my spine around, grooving to Depeche or PSB. So cut me a fucking break when they say WORK OUT is a reality show.

Ballys in South Florida was like going to a fucking bathhouse. I always wondered how the straight guys felt, or if there were any. Reminds me of the quote I read online about the legendary nightclub The Saint: I walked into The Saint straight. I walked out gay. I don't think I ever went to Ballys (Sunrise? Aventura? who remembers. They were all the same!) and went into the locker room and saw one limp dick. Going into the showers was even funnier. The way they were designed you didn't really "notice" anyone if they were cowering in the corner...with two of their closest FBs. Even the steam room was, well, steamy. AND IT WAS COED! All you needed was the right amount of steam, the gay boys at the far end away from the door, and the old Jewish men and women huddled on the wooden slats right by the doors. Without my glasses, I could see more than a few woodies, and watched more than a few surreptious fuckings and suckings. Amazing what steam can do as a cover and as a libido enhancement.

PS. Dear Ballys: I know you have both my e-mail and phone number. Now you can call me. I guess it didn't make a difference to you when the AFRICAN AMERICAN TRAINER said that MY KIND WASN'T WELCOME AT YOUR ESTABLISHMENT and, as a college professor, I kept asking him what "my kind" was.

Oh, and if you're gay? Don't act as if I ratted out some dirty little secret. Get fucking real. Did I mention your name? Then shut your fucking mouth.

Saturn Square Sun

Saturday, 29 July 2006
born 4 May 1960
©Astrodienst AG

Patience and perseverance ***
Valid during several days: This influence represents a time of critical developments. Various factors in the outside world will challenge you strongly, and it may seem difficult to maintain your freedom of action in whatever you are trying to do. You may feel unusually discouraged at this time, because your vitality is at a low point. It may be best not to struggle too hard against any adversity that comes into your life now. Patience and perseverance will carry you through until your energy level is up again.

Authority figures, such as employers, government officials or parents, may prove difficult to deal with. You may find that they are not receptive to your plans or suggestions, that they resist your efforts. It is advisable to work patiently to bring them around to your point of view. Don't withdraw from the confrontation, but don't fight blindly. That would guarantee defeat.

This period of your life is directly linked to a time seven years ago, a time of new beginnings for you. This time now is made especially difficult by the fact that many of these projects have been going quite well, and the current difficulties seem totally unexpected.

However, this is a period of trial, which will demonstrate whether or not those new beginnings were valid. Anything invalid is likely to fall by the wayside. You will probably regard it as a failure. But you may not be aware right away that this is happening, especially if you are not paying close attention.

Your ambitions may be thwarted now, but be patient and make sure you are on the right course. If you are, this period will be a trial rather than a defeat. Even if it is a defeat, you can still accomplish a great deal by transferring your energies to more productive areas.

Saturn Square Sun
24 July 2006 – 9 August 2006

Friday, July 28, 2006

Umm, about my students.

There are really those days when I doubt my abilities as a college professor, and they've not been few and far between lately. I can't even say they've been hit or miss. Better, they've been fast and furious.

I think the turning point was Cindy Sherman in the dirt. (See earlier post.) And a few other pieces I have yet to post. I'm seeing my "kids" in an entirely new light (pun intended).

And Don called over the weekend, and I spoke with Gary, and we talked about the death of photojournalism and cell phones and YouTube and CNN and how it's harder and harder for us "old school" guys to make it.

So I vented on the Photoshop class yesterday. It was meant to be one of those good things, perhaps a pep talk, telling them they all had eyes, and how I was, in essence a fraud (c'mon, I've always thought so) because picking up a camera is the easiest thing in the world. Putting it to your eye and pressing the button is the easiest thing in the world. It's just DOING it. Like they say, most of life is just showing up. Same with photography.

And the kids sat, and didn't move, and didn't waver.
Thankfully Sandor broke the moment and told me I was being way too intense, I lightened the moment, a little too late, but he did.

So, guys, girls. Folks.
Thanks. For many things.
Like the courage you give me, day after day.
A renewal.
You are my fountain of youth.

Hold on to what we have.
Yesterday is gone
and the night is long.
Hold on.

And don't skip my classes!

I love you all.

Some of you actually know who you are.
And thanks to T for R.
Time. I'll never have enough with you.

Personal Daily Horoscope
Friday, 28 July 2006
born 4 May 1960

Creative power ***
This influence is a strong stimulus to any kind of ambition, but the danger is that its energy can be rather violent and disruptive. It represents a ruthless burst of ego energy that does not take kindly to limitation. Positively speaking, this is an excellent time for doing any kind of heavy work, particularly if it involves making major changes of any kind whatever. Even if you think you are totally uninterested in power, you will get a great deal of satisfaction out of having and using power. There is no reason why you shouldn't be able to use this power creatively. Just don't try to kid yourself that you aren't thinking of your own interests now. You are, and there is nothing wrong in that unless your interests conflict with everyone else's.

Mars Conjunction Pluto exact at 10:07
activity period from 26 July 2006 to 30 July 2006.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Dear Austen,

Dear Austen,
You know I'm big on symbolism, punctuation, grammar, lyrics, synchonicity, and all the rest. Color (like orange being the complement of blue) and chemistry (people, not the test tube stuff).
And I'm super getting off that I can legitimately call you Austen and TEXAS figures in in a major fucking way, and I already think I'm a fucking mental case, and I am, and I embrace it and really don't give a fuck what you think anymore (can't resist). I just know about the cold of November, and when I stoked more than a few fires.
So if you knew anything about the symbolism of "cups" you'd know they were vessels. They either hold something, spill their contents, are empty as sacrifice, or are symbolic of promise and return. Either way, they aren't garbage to be thrown out. Cups, symbolically, are meant to be returned. Something about a circle to be closed. So I closed the circle this morn. A circle closed with drawn shades, closed squares, somehow apropos. "Just Hold On" was blaring in the Xterra, and I'm sure the legions of the living would have been raised from the sleeping dead. I didn't care. You thought I was your best friend...yesterday is gone, and the night is long.

I met someone.
That's what this is all about.
I really did. Someone you actually know. And someone who knows you. Turns out this is the smallest fucking world in the world. I was in a strange way "giddy" when it happened. Like the relationship you're not supposed to have, say, with you ex-husband's brother? Oh! That'd be you! Well, kinda.

And you know who else I met? Well, our code name is Time. Or is it Emit? We haven't decided, but we already decided this is going to be a very long-term relationship and he recognizes, and, for a change, respects that I am a writer, an artist, and a photographer (imagine that? someone who respects what you do? apart from them?) and he knows I'm going to write about him. Oh, and guess what? HE'S CHANGED MY LIFE MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD! HOW'S THAT! Even better: I've changed his. And we've cried together. Oh, just so you know? We don't have sex. Why? I'll never tell.

Oh, so there was a message I wanted to get across, better than I ever could. That, my dear friend, was just a warm up.

Oh, and I'd like to make a very public pronouncement.

You have my phone number, at work, at home, and you have all the various e-mails.
I kinda love you, yep. Always will. And somewhere, sometime, somehow, we will be friends. Remember, you are alive, and we shared something intense (to me, anyway.) And when you start your week putting man's best friend to sleep, that kinda reminds you how transient life is, and I missed you and wanted to hug you.

Gotta love friends like you.

So. Yep. I know. "It" is over.
Let the friendship begin.

You know how to find me. Don't be pissed. It's a useless waste of energy.
Wanna go dancing?

I Don't Want a Lover

I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I don't want a lover
I just need a friend

You can't just leave me
To face life on my own
I know you don't love me no more
I knew this day it would come
Even when it cuts so deep
It's true I still want you
But the harder I try
The more I seem to lose

I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love

It's always a different story
When it's me who's in the wrong
But you can't have it all
Cause I'm the one who's strong
I've already been burnt before
Once but never again
I know the time will come
That's when you need me then

I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love

I don't want a lover
I just need a prayer
I know you never cared
Now that I know it wasn't love

You don't even care
About what I'm saying
You don't even think
What you're doing
All you see is what you want it to be
But in there there's just no room for me

I don't want a lover
I just need a friend
I've had time to recover
Now that I know it wasn't love

You don't even care
About what I'm saying
You don't even think
What you're doing
All you see is what you want it to be
But in there there's just no room for me

I don't want a lover
I just need a prayer
I know you never cared
Now that I know it wasn't love

I don't want a lover
I just need a prayer

I know you never cared
Now that I know it wasn't love

Happy (belated!) Birthday Mom!

With Monday (Frank's dog), the gym, ripping my back out, teaching and everything (especially the Cindy Sherman photo and the flies and The Corner Pug)
I didn't even get to post for you.

A huge shout-out to Justin for scanning the photo, printing it,
and thanks to my 3D Package Design class for a great time yesterday,
(remember the numbers: 4, 68, 444, 1,379, 2,599 Oh, and 5".)
And thanks to everyone for signing.
Especially the one who wrote "old and wise." ASS!

But I did get to spend time with you.

So that was great.

Especially when Louise told you about me dancing in my Batman boxer shorts, doing poppers and getting thrown out of more clubs than we could count.

Grinders from Avventura: $20
Birthday cake from Rita's: $25
Picking blueberries with Daniel and the girls, plus lunch: $80
Hearing Louise tell you what Poppers were
("Men's Locker Room" for $5),
in front of Dad: FUCKING PRICELESS

PS. Louise, remember we got high with Joe and Allanah (sp?) from the TTwins at The Agora Ballroom in New Haven?

I thought so...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Just Hold On|More Texas!

Find Red Book at all costs. Actually, this phenom from
Scotland can be found for as little as $12 + shipping,
unless you shop in Russia.

Just hold on, though.
This song ROCKS.

Artist: Texas
Album: Red Book
Year: 2005
Title: Just Hold On

Funny how I'm on myself with you
Than I ever knew
If I see that its eleven I'll say its seven
to spend more time with you

So here you know what I'm saying
To you this evening
Think it through
You thought I was your best friend
There to your defence
I reach for someone new

Hold on, hold on, hold on to what we have
Yesterday is gone and the night is long
We'll hold on to what we have

Even though I've been with someone else
I'm so happy when I'm with you
And here we are again on some lost weekend
Yeh we are one or two

So here you know what I'm saying
To you this evening
Think it through
You thought I was your best friend
There to your defence
I know that I had you

Hold on, hold on, hold on to what we have
Yesterday is gone and the night is long
We'll hold on to what we have

Nothing leaves your mind but breaks your heart
But we both knew this from the start
I could mend your life, or ease your pain

Hold on, hold on, hold on to what we have
Yesterday is gone and the night is long
We'll hold on to what we have
Hold on, hold on, hold on to what we have
Yesterday is gone and the night is long
We'll hold on to what we have
Hold on to what we have
Hold on, hold on

DEP Tate|Devino's Brass City Hyundai

Tate, run with Grace.
Descanse en Pace.
1983 - 2006

Frank, this man's best friend, with his best friend, Tate.
7am, 24 July 2006. Middlebury CT

Shuffle|Can't Resist SLEEP

Can't Resist video clip
25 September 2005

TEXAS star Sharleen Spiteri reveals a split personality in the stunning video for the band's new single Can't Resist. The singer gets a new look - or two - in the promo - completed on Thursday - which was shot by acclaimed director Sam Brown, who also helmed the talked-about promo for James Blunt's You're Beautiful. It's a supernatural battle between Sharleen's night and day characters, exploring the two sides of the singer - purity versus decadence, love versus sex. The two opposing Sharleens are gradually drawn closer and closer through the promo until they finally meet.
Sharleen said: "The song is Texas having a fresh look at that Giorgio Moroder vibe of uplifting, electronic pop but with sexy, slow vocals. "I wanted to combine modern sounds with a real Billie Holliday kind of feel. "When I was growing up, my dad would be away at sea. My mum, my sister and I would be at home blasting disco and Abba alongside her old Billie Holliday albums." The Texas star was anxious to look beyond Holliday's image to explore the darker side of her character. "I knew the spirit I wanted and I knew I could emulate that Billie Holliday sensibility," she said. "Not the framed icon with the beautiful flower in her hair but the slightly darkwoman on the edge, this tortured brave singer who struggled around this merciless music circuit.

Texas|Can't Resist

You know I can't resist
You know I can't resist

I believe that you told me
A promise lives with lie
That you tease as you hold me
There's hunger in your eyes

That's the way that I remember you
When the sun was high
And the nights were cool
It seems that lately I just dream
Of days in the silver sky
That I can't get

You know I can't resist
I never wanna fall asleep
I know you wanna dive in deeper
And I tried and I tried I tried to walk away
I'm standing one on this
Emotion always takes us deep
I only wanna dive in deeper
And I tried and I tried and I tried to walk away

That's the way I remember
The summer sun was high
To the cold of November
I'm still in silver sky

That's the way that I remember you
When the sun was high
And the nights were cool
It seems that lately I just dream
Of days in the silver sky
That I can't get

I'm falling for your sentimental charms again
I'm finding it so hard to break it
But everytime the pleasure turns into pain
I'm more inclined to stand to take it

This is the way I remember you
The sun was high
And the night was oh so cool
It's how I remember you

You know I can't resist
You know I can't resist
You know I can't resist

Get what you pay for.

When you expect Minimal from the Pet Shop Boys,
you're never disappointed.

OMG! WTF! Please! Say it isn't so!!

NO self-respecting Zoroastrian would permit themself to be reincarnated as an action figure. No fuckin' way.

Hall of Shame!

Buy now for Freddie's Second Coming!
Only $500!!!

Note to Brian:
Fuck you! 176 tracks, all available before in every version known to man, now available as a 2004 Japanese Reissue personally approved by you?

Cut me a fuckin' break.

The first crack in the shield was Paul Rodgers.
Now the water is more that pouring through.

My vote remains with John.
Or, as Erasure sings "give a little!"

Next thing you know, a Freddie Action Figure...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Γιώργος-Κυριάκος Παναγιώτου

In the absence of security
Made my way into the night
Stupid Cupid keeps on calling me
But I see nothing in his eyes
I miss my baby, oh yeah
I miss my baby tonight
So why don't we make a little room
In my BMW babe
Searchin' for some peace of mind
Hey, I'll help you find it
I do believe that we are practicing the same religion

I ain't Mr. Right...

Shuffle|Constant Craving [kd lang]

kd lang is one of the most handsome women I have ever seen in my life.
I walked less than two feet from and with her at an AIDS Walk on SoBe.
Can't beat this fuckin' song.

[kd lang/ben mink]

Even through the darkest phase
Be it thick or thin
Always someone marches brave
Here beneath my skin

Constant craving
Has always been

Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To its youth

Constant craving
Has always been

New Work|Icons + Hallowe'en

Image ©October 2003 Retouching ©July 2006
Kodak Disposable w. Flash 35 w. CD-ROM

© Anonymous2003

This is the first Hallowe'en Grace didn't need her collar,
so I wore it.

I wore the t-shirt when I confessed.

Vaults|Unlocked (Self-Portrait)

©2006 OrangeMercury

Have a cardinal rule as a photographer.
Never ask anyone to do anything in front of a lens that you, yourself,
wouldn't do.

Herein, I happily learned that lesson.
Some twenty years removed.

Now I'm glad I have a nude.
Influenced by Mapplethorpe's work for Lady,
with Lisa Lyon.
There's a similar photo, nude, with a sheet covering the head.

Credit photos to...

In my native Poland, o~ange juice was considered the most heahhtLI beverage to drink. Even today, Alma carries home bags of oranges Dora the grocery and squeezes .glasses of Desh orange juice for breakfast each morning. When we arrived at the train station in Miami, a taxi took us to Miami Beach. As we rode over the causeway, I could hardly be- Iieve my eyes. To me, being at a summer place in the winter was a great event. It was aImost unimaginable that in Miami Beach it was 80 degrees while in New York it was 20. Every- thing--the buildings, the water, the pavement--had an indescribabIe glow and brightness to it. The palm trees especially made a great impression on me. BY ISAAC BASHEVIS SINGER PHOTr~GR~PH$ ~Y ~ERNARO ~. LYNCH ,JR.

Read the full text, typos and all (!) here.
Scroll midway down, and look for the image above.
Several full pages of original photography.

Vaults|Unlocked II (minus color)

© photo credit OrangeMercury 2006

Going back to that "want to be|need to be" post of earlier:

If you're really fast, and observant,
and packing heat,
chance really does favor the prepared eye.

Señora Suerte esta loca.

Vaults|Unlocked I

All photographs ©2006 OrangeMercury

St Rita + Pumpkin|1987 Hartford Medium Format, Color Negative
Jesus' Sneakers|1985 Waterbury 35mm, Canon A-1, Fuji Color Slide
Hockey Mask I|1986 Hartford 35mm, Canon A-1, Kodak Color Slide

File under: Icons

Sleep|Texas [playlist]

©Lynch 2006

File under:
•male, men
•Miami, Virginia Key Beach

Bigger in Texas

It's hard to see Texas as a band nowadays. In the same way that Simply Red is Mick Hucknall, Texas have become the Sharleen Spiteri show. There's very little which is distinctive about this album other than her voice, which carries the show along quite nicely, thank you. This isn't an album of stand out moments it's more something to wallow in; the aural equivalent of a long soak in a hot tub!

Personal note:
I'm seeing a greater number of Robert Mapplethorpe-inspired photographs turning up on CDs and on digi-sites lately.

Playlist|Howard Jones

You didn't escape one thing in the mid-80s:
Howard Jones.

You might've escaped something else:

If you escaped the latter,
you're still here to enjoy the former.

Harmonic Convergence|Story I

I've really come to a realization, perhaps ten years ago.
If you get this, maybe you'll get me, and how I can deal with where I am.
I figured out that I might not be where I want to be in life,
but maybe I am where I am because I need to be.
Sometimes moments I cannot photograph, and yet a camera is involved,
tell me I am where I need to be, at that moment.

New Year's Eve 1999

It was Hollywood Beach, at the turn of the Millenium,
and I was with Grace. I have some ambient dawn-lit photos of Grace,
lying in the sand, just looking at me,
with a discarded bottle of Korbel (two?) next to her on the blanket.

Just down from us were two women, visitors from the Midwest,
and their three dogs.
They saw I had my camera, and how could I say no?
What, then, were the odds that strangers were going to get their photos back?

Four dogs, and two girlfriends, and me (with Grace) had breakfast
on Hollywood Beach. We walked back to where they were staying,
and exchanged phone numbers.

I saw them a day or two later and learned that one woman's dog,
her only dog, had suddenly taken ill.

And died.

And I had the last photographs.
From New Year's Eve. 1999 into 2000.

I didn't hesitate to run the film under the counter when I returned
to my "quiet" job at Walgreens in the photo department.
Double-prints, no less.

I lost her phone number and couldn't contact her that afternoon.
I drove over to where I "remembered" they were staying.
And got lost.

I had to start asking people.
Knocking on doors.
Inquiring about two women, three dogs,
one which suddenly died.
I had Grace with me, she had such a way of disarming anyone.
And I always wore orange.

Finally I found someone who relayed some cryptic message
about two women, and thinking he heard about a dog dying,
and he thought they were staying in another corner of his villa.
He saw them because he spent time outside smoking,
where I found him.

It was 4:30p, and I went to the unit.
No one was in, but I recognized the unit from a particular view
in the parking lot where I saw them last.

I left a note saying we'd return at 7p and wait until 8p.

They were there when Grace and I returned.

The woman's eyes swelled up, and she just embraced me,
her body shuddering, all the while thanking me, over and over,
for the photographs, the night, the moment, conversation,

And my dogged determination, against, seemingly, a kennel dog's
chances of being adopted to a loving home

I think I cried later in the car, having relinquished the
double-prints, the negative, and perhaps releasing a little pain
in this woman's heart.

She closed and welcomed the Millenium with her only friend,
and had pictures to seize the moment.

I can't remember her name, the dog's name or breed,
or whether I kept one from the night.

"Untitled" it wouldn't do the moment justice.

There'll be more.
Mark my words.


Sunday morning, 9a, and you're wrapping up on that sex party in the meat-packing district. Things are still pretty intense. It's still pretty dark, with heavy orange-laden yellow lights highlighting only the corners.

You find the only room serving coffee, and are downing a Cuban, while a Cuban's downing you. You find yourself aurally pleased with the plate master's (don't dare call Dr Mercury a 'disc jockey' unless it's just 'jock') selection of Neal Barr's HOSTEL soundtrack.

Makes the point of the knife in your asscheek all the more daring.

Student Work vII


A nightmarish (is there any other version?) take on Outerbridge, Mapplethorpe, Blossfeldt (!), Cunningham, and a color palette puts this in Bosch's neighborhood. I've live there.

If this guy continues to focus, he's headed in the right direction.
Now, to put a camera in his hands. Or not.