Saturday, October 20, 2012

One guy I know who makes a great dad.
Happy Birthday.


To make a very long, decades-worth, story short, I have a comment on this photo, and life and marriage and children in general. And if you want to call me out and say I'm some self-centered fag who couldn't raise kids, go ahead, and I'll just think of all the people I've met who have kids that they shouldn't have had because they are the result of a snowstorm, or a blackout, or a hurricane, and "what else was there to do but have sex" kids. Got me? Good. This is a photograph of someone I went to college with. We lived on the same floor, and he lived across the hall from the guy who modeled for me all the time (I was a photography major) so that's how I knew this guy. I've thought back to the college years, and I said to myself "I don't know if we ever shared a meal in the dining hall, or even sat next to, or across from each other" during those years, but we definitely didn't have a hate relationship at all. It was "hey, what's up?" and I'm sure a keg party or two. But, sorry to say, I don't have any outstanding memories of the guy in this photo. Some time ago, a fellow resident of the second floor decided that we needed to have a reunion in NYC, and whoever could go, would go. We used each other and Facebook and all that to locate the lost, and find out who was married, had kids, was doing well in their profession, or, in one case, had died prematurely. This guy couldn't make the reunion. He had a great (the GREATEST) excuse: he was living in Italy. WOW. Fuckin' Italy. I'd KILL to leave the good ol' red white and blue behind for the flag of Italy. Yeah, I'd probably leave my family (two brothers, two sisters, four nieces, two nephews, and two living parents) to relocate to Italy. But, my health dictated otherwise. Anyway. I've photographed hundreds of people in 33 years. Families. Brothers. Sisters. Brothers and sisters. The family dog. You name it. And there's always a story to tell. Mostly? There was arguing and fake smiles and "you're gonna get it when you get home" and a mother, father, and kids, all in the same room, and they couldn't "be themselves" and just have a nice family portrait taken. And I'm good. And I'll give you a hint. The smile? It's in the eyes. Not on the pearly white, Ultra-Brite smiles. THOSE ARE FAKE! I've seen professional models whip off hundreds of fabulous smiles because that's what they were paid to do. But it just shocked me, as a photographer's assistant, to see that these smiles weren't because they (the subjects) were happy. They were BEING PAID. So back to this photo. WOW! I picked one of the bunch my buddy has sent me, because I see something in every photo with his son and daughter and dad: they love each other. They have no problems with "physical space" and there's no scowling like "is this over yet?" There's love. I see it in their eyes. And in every picture he sends with him and his son, or him with his daughter, or, even better, a picture someone took of him. HE CLEARLY LOVES LIFE, and is living it to the fullest. You know how I know? Because I worked as an assistant to a very famous portrait, celebrity and fashion photographer, and he photographed me, on many occasions. And he said one thing to me: Bernard, you have the saddest eyes. And you can't smile. And he's right. I know what's behind my facade, my life, and I might have a spontaneous smile here or there, and I've been told I have a great smile, but in front of a camera? Forget it. I can't fake a smile, and my eyes are the windows to my soul, and my soul is wounded. And it won't ever heal. That's another story. So when I see photos of Kevin and Ian and Chiara (KEY-ARE-AH) I just love them. I love them because they renew my faith in family. (Yes, he is a single dad). They renew my faith in the dropped bellies of the women about to give birth right in front of me, and I pray the kid has a great life, and isn't the result of some calamity, natural disaster, or the power being out. Inotherwords: the parents fucked, just because they had nothing better to do, and they didn't use protection and guess what? There's a whole bunch of 9/11 babies out there, and I'd love to interview all of them. They exist just because their parents were fucking stupid while they were fucking. They didn't think of the consequences...and if oops! became "you're pregnant" I'm personally ProLife, but I'm really ProChoice because it's not my body, and I'm gay, and I won't be in that situation. I see very few men, and I'm using that word specifically, who make GREAT fathers, whether married, divorced or whatever. And I think guys who get divorced get the short end of the stick. What about Fathers' Rights? So, happy birthday to my buddy in Italy. I'm jealous. Of where you live, and of the fact that I will never, ever, EVER know what it's like to have a son or a daughter who loves me, unconditionally. Oh, and gS? I see a lot when I look at photographs. Thanks for sending them. They don't bore me at all. Not in the least. Glad we're friends now. What the hell were we doing at Syracuse anyway?

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Math with OrangeMercury
(Jackie - K) + O = Sinead O'Connor JACKIE O!

Bela Lugosi Born This Day in 1882.
Today? Bela Lugosi's Dead.



White on white 
translucent black capes 
Back on the rack 
Bela Lugosi's dead 
The bats have left the bell tower 
The victims have been bled 
Red velvet lines the black box 
Bela Lugosi's dead 
Undead undead undead 
The virginal brides file past his tomb 
Strewn with time's dead flowers 
Bereft in deathly bloom 
Alone in a darkened room 
The count Bela Logosi's dead 
Undead undead undead

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Statue | Cedar Hill Cemetery
Hartford CT


Nature's Yellow Carpet
Cedar Hill Cemetery | Hartford CT

Versus.
Adobe Photoshop Elements 10 v CameraBag 2.0



photos ©2012 bernard m lynch jr

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Friday, October 19, 2012

Born this day in 1932 | Robert Reed
AKA Architect Mike Brady

Wet & Fallen Autumn Leaves


photograph ©2012 bernard m lynch jr

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The Joker | Start Laughing NOW!



A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."

A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you and your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."

A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"

A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies.

A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks. "Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

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Thursday, October 18, 2012

Queen | Backstage Exhibition

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

The Other Slaves to the Rhythm | Full Orchestra
Pet Shop Boys

Pet Shop Boys | LEAVING

@Home Depot
"What aisle are your zombies in?"

Born this day in 1920 | Montgomery Clift
Proof ©Alfredo Valente


Montgomery Clift

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Every photo op has another story...
Ryan "does nothing" at soup kitchen



Updated Tuesday, 2:34 P.M. Eastern Time
The head of a charity in northeastern Ohio where Republican vice presidential nominee Paul Ryan and his family were photographed cleaning dishes over the weekend said Monday that Ryan was not authorized to be on the premises and "did nothing" while there.

Brian J. Antal, president of the Mahoning County St. Vincent De Paul Society in Youngstown, told the Washington Post that the Romney campaign had not asked to make the Saturday visit to the soup kitchen. He said that he runs an apolitical faith-based organization which has bylaws barring it from hosting political candidates, and that the visit jeopardized donations from private individuals. 
"They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors." Antag added that Ryan and his family "did nothing" while on the premises.
"He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall," he said.
Ryan was photographed cleaning "large metal pans that did not appear to be dirty" during a 15-minute visit, the Post previously reported. While television cameras rolled and photographers snapped pictures, the Wisconsin congressman discussed washing dishes while he was younger. He said he would get calluses on his fingers due to the heat from the industrial machine.
When Ryan arrived on the site in the early afternoon, the kitchen was clean and the dining area was empty, according to a pool report. After his time in the kitchen Ryan spoke to homeless people outside the soup kitchen, but reporters were kept from monitoring the conversation.

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ex caelis | The Cloud Series 2012


photograph ©2012 bernard m lynch jr

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Born this day in 1972 | Marshall Mathers
Photographed by David LaChapelle

I've got his back.
Now, fix the economy + jobs!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

This Day in History | 1923
The Walt Disney Company Founded

The New Face of Journalism | Candy Crowley


Candy Crowley (CNN's STATE OF THE UNION) and tonight's Presidential Moderator, is a big gal, and has a rather "unusual" first name. And she's risen to the top. Here's to you Candy. You worked like a dog to get where you are tonight. Kudos to you. And all the women you inspire

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And you're complaining about what here?
Saturday Night Live v iPhone 5

Born this day in 1854 | Oscar Wilde


• Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.

• Some cause happiness wherever they go; 
others whenever they go.

• Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. 
  Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

• Education is an admirable thing, 
but it is well to remember from time to time 
that nothing that is worth knowing 
can be taught.

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Kotex introduces the Mini-Pad!


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Get DARK SHADOWS (1966 – 1971) NOW!!!
The Coffin Box is On Sale!


Check out Amazon's GOLD BOX COFFIN DEAL

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Monday, October 15, 2012

Born this day in 1937 | Anthony Hopkins
Hannibal Lechter

Born this day in 1844 | Frederich Nietzsche


To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering. 



The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. 



Without music, life would be a mistake. 

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Sunday, October 14, 2012

David Vance Chooses the Orange Crayon