For Jonathan Frid | Barnabas CollinsInto the West | Oscar Night 2004

The Fullest Full Moon

SOLD! For $24 in beads and textiles!Manhattan

Who's SCREAMING now?

Famous May 4th Birthdays | Besides ME!

1979 Lance Bass, American Musician 
1976 Heather Kozar, born in Akron, Ohio, playmate, Jan, 
1998 1975 Pablo Ruiz, Buenos Aires Arg, spanish singer 
1973 Edward Hervey, NFL wide receiver for the Dallas Cowboys 
1973 Matthew Barnaby, Ottawa, NHL left wing for the Buffalo Sabres 
1973 Michelle Martinez, Dallas Texas, Miss America, Texas-Top 10-1997 
1972 Ethan Watts, Philadelphia, volleyball middle blocker 1996 Olympics 
1972 Gretchen Ulion, ice hockey forward, USA, 1998 Olympics 
1972 Marc Lamb, WLAF T for the London Monarchs 
1971 Derrick Clark, NFL/WLAF fullback, Broncos, Rhein Fire 
1971 Steve Glenn, CFL linebacker for the BC Lions
1970 Dawn Staley, Philadelphia, basketball guard, 1996 Olympics gold 
1968 Andre Collins, NFL linebacker for the Cincinnati Bengals 1968 Eddie Perez, born in Cuidad Ojeda, Venezuela, catcher, Atlanta Braves 
1968 Kevin Todd, Winnipeg, NHL center for the Los Angeles Kings 
1967 Derek MacCready, CFL defensive tackle for the Edmonton Eskimos 
1967 John Child, East York Ontario, beach volleyballer 1996 Olympics bronze 
1967 Matthew Crane, Kimberton, Pennsylvania, actor, Matt Cory-Another World 
1967 Ana Gasteyer, born in Washington, D.C., actress, comedienne, appeared in 'Saturday Night Live' television show, appeared in 'Mean Girls' film and 'Wicked' musical 
1966 Monica Tranel [Michini], Billings Mont, rower 1996 Olympics 
1965 Adri Bogers, Dutch soccer player, Willem II 
1964 Goran Prpic, Yugoslavia, tennis star 
1962 Tracy Vaccaro, Glendale, California, playmate, October, 1983 
1961 Eugene Daniel, NFL center, Indianapolis Colts, Baltimore Ravens 
1961 Jay Aston, London, England, singer, youngest member of British pop group, Bucks Fizz, founded Jay Aston Theatre Arts School 
1961 Mary Elizabeth McDonough, born in Van Nuys, California, actress, Erin-Waltons 
1960 Bernard M Lynch Jr, artist, photographer, teacher, eccentric, whack-job 
1960 Martyn Moxon, cricketer, England batsman in ten Tests 1986-89 
1960 Andrew Denton, Australian Comedian 
1959 Randy Travis, Marshville, North Carolina, country singer, Diggin' Up Bones 
1959 Robert Raymond Tway, born in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, PGA golfer, 1986 Shearson 
1959 Rohn Stark, NFL punter for the Pittsburgh Steelers 
1958 Keith Haring, Kutztown, Pennsylvania, graffiti artist, Vanity Fair, Paris Review 
1957 Peter Sleep, cricketer, Australian leg-spin all-rounder 1979-90 
1957 Richard E. Grant, born in Swaziland, actor, Posse, Bram Stoker's Dracula 
1956 Michael L Gernhardt, Mansfield, Ohio, astronaut, STS-69, 83, 94, sk 100 
1956 Ulrike Meyfarth, Frankfurt, West Germany, high jumper, Gold Medal 
1972 Olympics 1956 David Guterson, American Author 
1954 Julie Budd, Brooklyn, singer, Child of Plenty 
1951 James C. Greenwood, born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Representative-R-Pennsylvania 1993 - 2005 1951 Jackie Jackson, Sigmund, born in Gary, Indiana, rocker, Jackson 5-ABC 
1950 Darryl Hunt, English pop bassist, Pogues-Pair of Brown Eyes 
1950 Hilly Hicks, born in Los Angeles, California, actor, Roll Out, Roots 
1950 Rene CM van Asten, Dutch actor, Herenstraat 10 
1949 Gerrit J P van Otterloo, Dutch MP, PvdA 
1949 Sybil Danning, Danninger, Weis Austria, actress, Chained Heat 
1949 Zal Cleminson, rocker, Alex Harvey Band 
1949 Graham Swift, British Author 1948 Billy O'Donnell, harness racer driver of year, 1984 
1946 Renee Powell, LPGA golfer 
1946 Gary Bauer, American Public Servant 
1945 George Wadenius, rocker, Blood, Sweat and Tears 
1945 Monika van Paemel, Belgian writer, Accursed Fathers 
1944 Dave, Otto Levenbach, Dutch singer, Du cote the Chez Swann 
1944 Paul Gleason, born in Jersey City, New Jersey, actor, Breakfast CLub, Die Hard 
1944 Peggy Santiglia McGannon, New Jersey, rocker, Angels 
1943 Nickolas Ashford, South Carolina, singer, Ashford and Simpson-Solid as a Rock 
1943 Stella Parton, sister of Dolly Parton/singer, A Woman's Touch 
1942 Ronnie Bond, drummer, Troggs-Wild Thing 
1941 George Will, born in Champaign, Illinois, journalist, author, wrote, editor, National Review magazine 1972 - 1978, awarded Pulitzer Prize for Commentary
1940 Dick Curl, Chester, Pennsylvania, offensive coordinator coach, Barcelona Dragons 
1939 Amos Oz, Jerusalem Israel, author, My Michael 
1938 Tyrone Davis, U.S. R&B singer, Are you serious 
1938 William J Bennett, U.S. Secretary of Education, 1985 - 1988 
1937 Hans Ulrich Lehmann, composer 1936 El Cordobes, Manuel Benitez, Spanish toreador 
1934 Pete Barbutti, Scranton, Pennsylvania, comedian, Garry Moore Show 
1931 Ed Cassidy, drummer, Spirit-I Got A Line on You 
1931 Gennadi Rozhdestvensky, born in Moscow, Russia, conductor, U.S.S.R. State Radio 
1930 Roberta Peters, New York City, operatic soprano, New York Met 
1929 Audrey Hepburn, Brussels Belg, Breakfast at Tiffany's, My Fair Lady 
1928 Betsy Rawls, Spartanburg, South Carolina, golfer, US Womens Open-51, 53, 57, 60 
1928 Hosni Mubarak, Egyptian president, 1981- 1928 Maynard Ferguson, Verdun Quebec, jazz trumpeter, Roulette 1926 Milton "Milt" Thompson, U.S. NASA-test pilot/chief-engineer, X-15 
1925 Peter Blum, German/South African/English poet, Capricorn 
1924 Peter Aldersley, actor/disc jockey 1924 Tat'yana Petrovna Nikolayeva, composer 
1922 John Paul Hammerschmidt, born in Harrison, Arkansas, Representative-R-Arkansas 1967 - 1993 
1921 John van Kesteren, Dutch tenor, Komische Oper, West-Berlin 
1921 Patsy Garrett, Atlantic City, New Jersey, actress, Nanny and the Professor 
1919 Dimiter Petkov, composer 1919 Mary Ann McCall, singer 
1918 Kakuei Tanaka, Japanese PM, 1972-74, convicted of bribe-taking 
1917 Edward Toner Cone, composer 1916 Maurice "Moe" Purtill, jazz drummer 
1915 Curt Conway, born in Boston, Massachusetts, actor, Raw Deal 
1915 Pedro Saenz, born in Spain, composer, composed music for classical guitar 
1914 Abdel Karim Kassem, general/premier/dictator of Iraq, 1958-63 
1914 Emmanuel Robles, Algerian-French journalist/playwright, Lesson Hauteurs 
1914 Maria Felix, Mexican Actress 
1912 Lou Brown, born in Brooklyn, New York, orchestra leader, Jerry Lewis Show 
1910 Mady Alfredo, Maria M the Brieder, actress, Alicia 
1909 Howard Da Silva, Silverblatt, born in Cleveland, Ohio, actor, Ben Franklin-1776 
1909 Jeroom Verten [Jozef F Vermetten], Flemish playwright 1909 Andrew Heyward, American Businessman 1909 Mitch Kapor, American Businessman 
1906 Esmond Knight, East Sheen, England, actor, Hamlet, Sleeping Murder 
1905 Matyas Seiber, Budapest, Hungary, composer, Scherzando 
1903 Luther Adler, New York City, actor, Dr. Bernard Altman-Psychiatrist 
1902 Cola [Nicolas] Debrot, Bonaire governor, Netherlands Antilles, author 
1902 Cvjetko Rihtman, composer 1902 Rodney Meredith Thomas, architect/painter 
1902 W. Clement Stone, American Businessman 
1893 Edgar Dearing, bron in Ceres, California, actor, Abraham Lincoln, Free and Easy 
1893 Royal Butler, Edwin Richey, born in Atlanta, Georgia, actor 
1891 Frederick Jacobi, composer 
1891 Johan W F Werumeus Buning, Dutch poet, Daily Bread 
1889 Francis J. Spellman, U.S. Cardinal 
1889 Francis Cardinal Spellman, American Clergyman 
1882 Wilhelm Lehmann, writer 
1881 Aleksandr F Kerenski, Russian premier, 
1917-Prelude to Bolshevism 
1877 Arthur Lang, U.S., boxer/businessman, Died Aug 8, 1992 at 115 1875 Ramiro de Maeztu y Whitney, Spanish writer, Don Quixote and Celestine 
1875 Reggie Schwartz, cricketer, 1st of great South African googlists 
1867 Dynam-Victor Fumet, composer 
1860 Emil Nikolaus Von Reznicek, Vienna Austria, composer, Donna Diana 
1846 Emile Galle, French glass/marble/ceramic artist, Galle Glaze 
1845 William Kingdon Clifford, English Mathematician 
1835 Edmund Hart Turpin, composer 
1826 Frederick Church, U.S. romantic landscape painter, Hudson River Sch 
1825 Thomas Henry Huxley, scientist/humanist/Darwinist 
1825 Thomas Huxley, English Scientist 
1820 Joseph Whitaker, England, publisher, founded Whitaker's Almanack 
1820 Julia Gardiner Tyler, 2nd wife of President John Tyler, 1841-45 
1796 Horace Mann, U.S., educator/author/editor, pioneered public schools 
1796 Joseph Pannell Taylor, Brigadier General Union Army 
1796 William Pennington, American Lawyer 
1777 Charles-Louis-Joseph Hanssens, composer 
1776 Johann Friedrich Herbart, Germany, philosopher/psychologist 
1769 Charles Hague, composer 1763 Franz Stanislaus Spindler, composer 
1749 Charlotte Smith, English Poet 1744 Marianne von Martinez, composer 
1738 Josef Kohaut, composer 1655 Bartolomeo di Francesco Cristofori, Italy, piano builder 
1635 Willem van Outhoorn, Dutch governor-general, Dutch East Indies 
1631 Mary I Henriette Stuart, daughter of Charles I/queen of England 
1622 Juan de Valdes Leal, Spanish painter/sculptor 1611 Carlo Rainaldi, composer 
1006 Abd-Allah Ansari, Persian mystic/poet, Monadjat

SCREAM sets historical record at Sotheby's!

Sharleen Spiteri

Sharleen always seems to be the first...

Quote | Unquote George Michael | Something to Save

When I was at your doorstep

and you told me to look around,

said "come in", "you and your heart, sit down."

for GMR.

REPORT Magazine | Syracuse UniversityMy 1st published piece at Syracuse

I just about got tossed out of Newhouse for this one.
It was late at Ryan's (Syracuse's gay disco from 1978 - 1982),
and I spotted this character. He never moved. All. Night. Long.
He just stood there, conveniently parked under a spotlight,
with a cat o' nine tails (whip) in his hand.

Musta been the moment, or the fact that I recently started taking PHOTO 301,
the introductory photography course at the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications
at Syracuse University.

Either way, now I had a camera in my hands, a force-field all around me which would protect
me from all the denizens of "BIZARRO" world, and I could talk to anyone.

And that I did.

I remember this guy's name was Frank. He was wearing a leather vest (not in this photograph)
and he had one of those black name tags with white engraving, with a pin, meaning he wore it.
A lot. Also on the name tag was the title PRESIDENT, and below that the white-letter engraving:
F.F.A.

Now I wasn't exactly raised on a farm in Connecticut, but we did have countryside, and my parents were big on taking Sunday drives, with the four of us piled in the deep blue Plymouth Valiant.

So yeah, I saw barns, and silos, and pigs and cows and all that, and, since I was the eager-beaver
good boy in Catholic school, I knew that F.F.A. (or FFA) meant FUTURE FARMERS OF AMERICA.

Well have I got NEEEWWS for you.

I quickly learned about the FIST FUCKERS of AMERICA, but it would be decades before I could
do that math. And another couple of years before I actually saw, well, nevermind.

Frank stunk to high-heaven ("man-funk") and I had him come up to the photo labs deep in
the bowels (ha-ha!) of Newhouse II.

There was all kinds of scandal afterwards, and you just know that anyone who saw this hard-core
leatherman said I was either fucked by him, or he sucked my cock or something equally absurd,
and TOTALLY out of the question.

I remember this much about "Frank the president of the FFA" (oh, and I forgot the little pink pig which dangled from his leather vest.)

He was so proud of the fact that he had just been in a movie. A real movie? I asked? Yeah,
a real movie, he answered. Not even thinking it might have been a porn movie, I asked him
what the title of the movie was, thinking maybe, just maybe, I'd heard of it.

"What was the name of the movie, Frank?"

"Cruising" he answered. I hadn't heard of it.

"Is it new? I haven't heard of it."

"Yeah, it's new. It's either just come out, or it's coming out shortly. It's by that guy who directed
THE EXORCIST" he said to me.

I'd heard of The EXORCIST. I hadn't seen it yet, because it was supposed to be really bad,
and I knew kids who used to read the paperback book in 8th grade, wrapped in brown kraft
grocery bags, so no one would know what they were reading. A couple of kids got caught
reading it, and I didn't know what was so bad, but I do know they were punished, made to
stay after school, had to speak with the parish priest (don't forget, I went to Catholic grammar
AND high school). Then their parents were called. I never got to ask any of the kids who read
the book what the big deal was about because we were all spoken to by the big-time parish
priest. And all I knew was that this was a book which could send you straight to hell.

Shit. I always got in trouble anyways, so I didn't want to get the shit kicked out of me
for some book which needed to be wrapped in grocery store bag paper.

"Really? THE EXORCIST? Wow. He must be famous."

"Yeah, he is. Wait 'til the movie comes out."

"Why? Is it scary like THE EXORCIST?"

"No. It's worse."

Frank stunk so much, other people using the other three of the four "hot light" studios
complained, and I had to hurry up and finish, and have him leave the building.

I remember he used a pink hair brush which I dutifully brought with me, but his hair was
so disgusting and he smelled so badly, I threw the brush out.

I remember getting yelled at by Tony Golden, then a professor, now the head of the photography program.

"Never bring in people you meet in bars to this school's photo studio again. Do you understand?"

I was scared shitless. Worse than THE EXORCIST? And I was in a lot of trouble just for taking the photograph.

Peter Wilkinson, editor-in-chief of REPORT ("REPORT is an independent magazine published monthly by and for Syracuse University students.") saw the photo and said it was perfect for the cover of the upcoming October-slash-Halloween issue,
and would I let him put the photo on the cover.

Sure! I said.

I had never been published before, in my life.

So this slice of THE VAULT is my very first published piece of college work.
The cover of REPORT magazine.

The credit line in the masthead reads COVER PHOTOGRAPH|Bernard M Lynch.

It took me years (not too many) to realize I was running parallel to Robert Mapplethorpe and
the as-of-yet unheard of Diane Arbus.

Fuck that school.

And fuck Tony Golden.

I'm still laughing.

And I'm surprised I still have only one copy...some 30 years later.
Faded, yellowed, and water-stained.

But nothing Photoshop couldn't fix.

And in the great words of the late Joan Crawford:

DON'T FUCK WITH ME, FELLAS!

And every single syllable of this story is TRUE TRUE TRUE!

The Vault | Hartford 200xQueen of SOME Prom!