Why Paul saved Canon's reputation today

This one's gonna take a while 'cuz there's lots of people who will be publicly excoriated, so I want to make sure I have time for the public flogging their about to get.

I mean, really: I've been a Canon USA customer since my first Canon AE-1 (the Winter Olympics SE), and then all my A-1 bodies, and FD series lenses...what's that? some 29 years?