Saturday, June 09, 2007

WTF?
Let me repeat myself.

AREN'T WE AT WAR?
Aren't our men and women shedding their blood for our freedom?
Even if the "cause" is rather muddy at this time,
they are still dying for us. All of us.

Does that REALLY include pH?
Even I'm over all this, rather shocked, indeed.

I just woke up, really.
I went to sleep thinking "it's only a movie, it's only a movie, it's only a movie..."
I thought all this news coverage would be over.
The nightmare over.


But no.
They're still dying.

And the litmus test of America?
No.

So much for the pH balance.

Next up?
Larry BLing.
It would really be great if no one "important" sat for him.

What? Am I kidding myself?

Dead US Soldiers v Paris


What? Is this a war we will never win?
Celebrity v Heroism?
Celebrity v Reality?
Trash v Life?

Paris = 1 wasted life
US Soldiers = 3,504 sacrificed lives

Do you think the CAN'T NAIL NEWS network reflects this? NOPE.

US Soldiers = Blood
Paris = Alcohol

Most, I'm sure, of these soldiers weren't even old enough to drink.
But they were old enough to die?

3,504 is when ONE makes a difference.

We're at war, right?

Friday, June 08, 2007

Word of the day.

BLood.

Whaddaya mean, why?

Ummm. Check your movie listings for a theatre near you.

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BREAKING!
HOSTEL Part 3


As of press time, an unnamed associate of Eli Roth's has confirmed Paris Hilton as the star of HOSTEL 3.

"After the cock + balls scene in HOSTEL 2, we were looking for someone with panache, style and the all-encompassing sense-of-self for the lead. Someone for whom life meant nothing, with a bank balance rivaling that of a small 3rd world country."

"I'm sure," expressed Roth, "there is a great fan base out there who would enjoy seeing Hilton raped, pillaged, plundered, slaughtered, dismembered, drawn + quartered, gagged and blindfolded."

"In the end, HOSTEL 3 is all about Hilton's trip to a Slovakian spa, her subsequent kidnapping and her father's bidding to keep her in custody with the homicidal jet-setters."

He wants her dead. He just can't do it himself.

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Poor poor Paris...

Hostel Part 2
Spoiler Alert!

Don't say I didn't warn you...

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Hahahahahahahaha
You slay me...

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Post Mortem
HOSTEL Part 2


Hmmmm.

Hold onto your balls guys!
Here doggie doggie...

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Hostel Part 2
Brought to you by


STIHL.

Stihl. When your brain-drilling, retina-ripping, bone-crushing, scream-inducing job requires nothing but the best.

Stihl. For the sado-masochistic maniac-on-the-go.

Also available:
• lime
• trash bags
• hydrochloric acid
• Skittles

Everything you need to make your clean-up quick and easy.

We accept PayPal and the American Express Orange Card.

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Wanna go?
Depends...


Hey Kev. I already have the tickets, and I'll save you a seat, front and center. I have the clamps to keep your eyes open, and the neckbrace to keep you from turning away.

Oh, I bought a case of DEPENDS for you, should you shit your pants (well, you did seem to have a problem with the first one) so I think we're all set.

OK? Ready to go?

"Oh, let's."

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It's a DATE!


12noon?
"Oh, let's...

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Anderson Rising!
Take a note, talking heads...


Following is the transcript currently available on the the CNN (Can't Nail News) website.

The keeper of this blog brings kudos! to AC 360º and his specific stand on NOT mentioning "the world's most famous whore|pig|cocksucker|bitch|waste of a human life|waste of oxygen name. I personally would relish a worldwide boycott of The Hilton Hotel chain. I'd be willing to bet my virginity (yeah, right) that the Coop will never step foot in a Hilton hotel as long as he lives. He probably won't even go to Hilton HEAD, NC.

Due to this dude's cajones, he is now free from any and all lewd, crude, and rude remarks of this blog, only if he sends us a photograph of himself in the nude. Think that's showing too much 'tude? Should put an end to our feud.

COOPER: All right. This one's hard. So, hear me out.

There aren't many people -- in fact, there are no people, whose name I won't mention on this program, except for one. I don't really remember how it started, but it somewhere in between a sex tape, a car crash, and a bizarre and growing celebrity fascination, based on, as far as we can tell, nothing.

But here's the rub: she actually made news today. Real news. She was released from prison. Did I mention she'd gone to prison?

Anyway, she was released after only serving three of what was supposed to be 23 days behind bars. That had a lot of people calling it a case of celebrity justice.

But then, just a couple hours ago, she who shall not be named, was told she has a court date -- or a court hearing tomorrow morning that might put her back behind bars.

So who am I talking about? What am I talking about? Randi Kaye can tell you.

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Thursday, June 07, 2007

Dear Larry-fucking-BLing
Paris v Dead Girl
CNN Rides Again


Larry:

You and the Can't Nail News network spent about ten minutes, minus commercial time, on the girl leaving TARGET who was found dead.

You then spent the balance of the show on Paris-FUCKMEUPTHEASS-Hilton. Go jump off a fucking bridge. I hope your two little "precious" boys meet up with, well, you know: Johnny Ray Doe. (You know child molesters have three names...)

SHAME
SHAME
SHAME

Dead v Celeb.
The only thing which would draw higher ratings would be a dead celeb.

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BREAKING!
Roth begins filming HOSTEL Part 3


In a stunning development, Eli Roth has finally agreed to begin filming HOSTEL Part 3, rumoured to be the most expensive film ever made, topping even BEN HUR, TITANIC, and every Harry Potter movies combined. (EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS FROM THE PROGRAMME BOOKLET AFTER THE JUMP).

"After listening to our many fans, those who have been with us since HOSTEL, and the millions we have picked up with the history-making HOSTEL PART 2, we have finally come to a mutually agreed upon price for the groundbreaking HOSTEL 3. While many, many people have either called us or flooded our emails with suggestions for HOSTEL PART 3, a unique and highly-controversial milestone is about to be realized. It will be as controversial, if not more so, than BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN."

Our sources tell us Roth was working on a rough draft of a script with an all-expenses-paid trip to a very exclusive hostel in SLOVAKIA. Attendees of THE WHITE PARTY in Miami were all given an opportunity to bid on this adventure for seven guys who were all going to be put up in the very hush-hush and toney HOSTEL SPA + BATH HOUSE for boiz.

"We've been in close contact with this very exclusive spa for some time now. Among the other requirements of this hostel for boiz are screening for HIV (you must be negative as condoms are forbidden), you must have a cock of at least 8.5" x 6.5", with balls equil to or larger than hard-boiled eggs. A minimum of 6-pak abs, with a preference for a 30-pak is a strict mandate. Your cum must meet specific requirements regarding amount, consistency, PMS-coloring, pH balance, texture and sweet + sour percent ratios, with a low-sodium preference. If you have any hair longer than .5" anywhere on your body, other than your neatly-coiffed hair by GARREN NEW YORK, you will immediately be sent to the exhibition hall. Electro-stim for your cock and balls is provided as a wake-up call a no-earlier than 6pm some 72 hours after the closing of the 48-hour dance party + orgy. Refreshments, including cocaine, Special K, GHB, and poppers, in addition to an open-hash and marijuana bar, are provided at 50 stations for every 100 guests. The liquid bar provides you with nothing but top-shelf liquors spanning the globe, and is the exclusive provider of ABSOLUT URIN in the entire galaxy. The dessert bar includes such delicacies as DEATH BY FECES 7-layer cake, SHIT ON A SHINGLE, LIQUID CHOCOLATE, and an assortment of truffles (not by GODIVA!) by the members-only company of HERSHEY HIGHWAY. Your fingernails must be exquisitely trimmed, and no more than .0125" beyond the quick, with a perfectly-shaped white cresent moon no more than twice the height of the width in an effort to make double-fistfucking more enjoyable for all. Your rectum walls will be uniquely appointed by our panel of interior decorators, and your pucker-hole will be neatly shaved and cleansed with SUMMER'S ADAM DOUCHE. For those interested in pig-play, several acres of the resort has been converted into a barn with all sorts of livestock and rare animals available for your sexual pleasures."

"Our staff is composed solely of no less than 3 sets of triplets, all under the age of 25, for each two guests. For the more discerning among our guests, special access is granted to MYSPACE.COM where they can choose amongst dozens of 12 - 15 year old males who have be preserved in liquid nitrogen for best results. Any youth between the ages of 12 - 15 who sports underarm hair, pubic hair or hair on their legs or arms will be immediately blenderized to prevent spoilage. Anal virgins between the ages of 8 - 12 will be made available with 9-month notice and a cash deposit of USD$1,000,000 or the equivalent in EU dollars. Anyone over the age of 25 will be euthanized and served up the following evening in a tasty dish of COCK-O VIN with a light bernaise sauce."

"Viagra, Cialis and an assortment of pleasure-enhancing chewing gum is available from the concierge. Cockrings, nipple clamps, rheostats, hammers, nails, and a wide variety of dildos – all races, creeds, colors, both circumsized and uncircumsized – can be found in your servi-bars."

According to sources, those with the most sexual hangups (such as safe-sex only, no BB or PnP et al) will be voted off the the resort with their skins available as exclusive COACH bags and take-away intestines steamed or pan-seared to your taste. Tennis with eyeballs is nightly, and ping-pong with their testicles commences at noon every once-in-a-blue moon. All rooms and facilities throughout the resort have anal douches and velvet-lined (crushed, black) gloryholes. No restroom has ever been cleaned since its opening. No shoes, no shirt? NO PROBLEM! Black Speedos by such notable designers as Armani, Kenneth Cole, Dolce + Gabbana, and, of course, GIANNI VERSACE (limited edition only) have been crafted in black leather taken from organic, free-range, and still-breathing cows imported from the United States. All livestock consumed has been screened for Bird Flu, Mad Cow disease, Ebola and, for your comfort, TB.

Entertainers, notably Grace Jones, Cher, Donna Summer, Madonna and, returning from the dead for one-night-only Judy Garland are amongst the many surprises in store. The dance floor is the equivalent of six football fields, with genuine fireworks, including m80s and cannons, available at each of the one-million-entrances to forestall the inconvenience of waiting in line. A disco ball equivalent in size to the planet Jupiter will be suspended one-inch from the hair of the tallest guest (rumored to be 6'4", with an inch of hair, placing the disco ball at an estimated height of 6'6" – 6'8") spinning at a rate of Mach 4 will be illuminated with no less than the center of the universe (the sun!) has been constructed amidst the tightest security, provided by no-less-than the Homeland Security of the United States.

Divine will be entertaining 24/7 in the LooneyLounge.

All attendees will have a one-inch wide, three-inch long spike thrust through their right hand in an effort to thwart all counterfeiting attempts.

It is highly-rumored by the website TMZ.COM (the site which broke, and confirmed, the early release of Paris Hilton from her ten concurrent life sentences) (that) Anderson Cooper will be making his first appearance since waiting in line at The Saint, Rituals MMXVIC.

Roth was quoted as saying he knew he couldn't turn down the filming of HOSTEL PART 3 when he learned that the plotline of the movie involved the immolation, cannibalization and execution by crucifixion of every attendee.

"I'm flattered the backers of this movie, also produced by Queerton Tarantino and Lang Elton Baumgarten, have enlisted me for this first-ever snuff film."

Fans of torture porn anxiously await the release of this movie. A release date has yet to be announced, and could not be confirmed at press time.

NOTE: No part of this exclusive report, in whole or in part, may be reproduced in any medium without the explicit and expressed permission of this site. Violators will be fined, skinned alive, roasted over an open fire, and toasted with a liquor content of not less than 12.5%

Questions? Email to 'whatthefuckATyourekiddingmeDOTcom-down'.
All media inquiries will be handled at the discretion of our bipolar press relations spokesman.

AT PRESS TIME, NEGOTIATIONS WERE CONTINUING WITH BRIAN MAY AND ROGER TAYLOR CONCERNING THE DISINTERMENT OF FREDDIE MERCURY FOR AN EXCLUSIVE CONCERT AND EVENING OF GANG-RAPE.

Click HERE for an exclusive, limited-edition, program from last year, including photographs of the buffet, attendees, and surprise guests. Available here shortly.

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My kinda porn...

Prediction



HOSTEL Part II will slash its way to the top, opening weekend,
regardless of the competition.

You heard it here first.

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Stihl.
And counting...


T-shirt: Hanes Beefy T
Jeans: Levi Boot Cut
Belt: Kenneth Cole
Knife: Henckels
Hair: Garren New York
Hair Gel: Head Games
Make-up: Maybelline
Hardon: Viagra, for endurance.
Condom: What? Are you kidding?

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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Non tuus amicus.

OVERUSED!
STOP NOW!

"My friend..."

Whether politicking, or reporting.

Spare us.

OneMoTime.

Typos. (NOT!)

• Sing sign.
• Insect incest.
• Resume resume.
• One eon.
• Pots stop.
• Stop pots.

Well, there's tons more.
They're in my head, and I gotta shake 'em loose.

Linchpin.


Robert Mapplethorpe photographs The Pet Shop Boys (year unknown).
This blog meets Robert Mapplethorpe, shakes hand, and obtains autograph. (Hartford, 1986).
This blog meets The Pet Shop Boys, shakes both Neil + Chris' hands, and obtains autograph. (NYC, 2006).
You do the math.

Where is the missing variable here?

Sign on back:

KICK ME HARD.

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We interrupt this broadcast...

Sleep.

Perhaps to nightmare.

More, much more, later.
A while later.

One last parting shot:

Oprah? Uma. Uma? Barak Obama.
Barak? Oprah, Uma.

my head is spinning...

–|Pet Shop Boys

ISBN-10: 1580050158


Book Description
An ancient title of respect for women, the word "cunt" long ago veered off this noble path...

Media Watch
CuntHunt

Wednesdays.
8:00 pm
On the CW network.

(CuntWatch?)

oh.
It's really "Beauty + The Geeks."
Who would fucking believe?

iTV REALLY means:

INSULTING TV.

Yep.
I'd give up my pursuit of a PhD
in order to become a "dating coach specialist."

Forget Speaker + TB.

PARIS HILTON IS SOCIAL DISEASE #1.
Ugh. All the PH-wannabe pigs.
Blonde bonding teacup pooch.

(I told you this was going to be a bumpy ride.)

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I'm listening.


Bloodgood's in 2020.
Which is really 220.
Which is really perfect vision.
Which is really good blood.

Oh. And did I say it was also "intensive?"

Which is really spooking the fuck out of me.

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Haunting sounds.
Haunting lyrics.
Haunting me.


All day
My heart tells strangers how I feel
And it's hard not to feel this way
When you thought your future was on prescription

-|George Michael

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Two words
Patrick Wilson.


on the RIGHT you fucking moron.
LEAVE THE KID ALONE!

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Horror v Terror
HOSTEL v LITTLE CHILDREN

Horror is like a rollercoaster ride.
Literally? You get on, and you certainly get off.
And if you like it, you do it again and again and again and again.

Terror, on the other hand, is never-ending.
You keep asking yourself "is this real?", "will this never end", and "God. Is this over yet?"

or, even worse:
• I can't imagine this is happening to me...
• In my wildest dreams, I'd NEVER thought...

Point 1: it's not a dream. IT'S A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
Point 2. it IS happening to you.

Final point?

Tune in later, anytime!
It's called REALITY.
Not REALITY TV.

Real life is not beautifully lit, nor is it edited.

It's RAW (no, not BB) and it's SURreal.
And it ain't coming back for SINdication.

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Overused Phrases.

"My friend/friends"

(esp. debates)

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The pitter-patter of little feet...

kept me awake ALL NIGHT LONG.

Damn.

LITTLE CHILDREN.

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Quote|Unquote

This war is not a bumper sticker.

-|Rudy Giuliani

PS. Hey Rudy? oh, and you other guys too (Dems included)...

Fallen heroes names are not talking points.
Y'all seem to trip all over yourselfs (yep) thanking the families of those present (specifically) and referencing the supreme sacrifice just to register higher on the APPLAUSE meter.

STOP NOW.

Even better:

STOP THIS FUCKING SENSELESS WAR.

No more war please
No more destruction
of innocent lives...
-|Bronski Beat

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Me + NETFLIX

We've GOT to stop meeting like this.......

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Three words.

Book + movie deal.
-----------------

Now I know why I woke up this morning at 23:45....

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Thoughts.

As far as I'm concerned:


HOSTEL = COMEDY

LITTLE CHILDREN = SHEER TERROR

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What's worse than HOSTEL?

Children.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
LITTLE CHILDREN

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US Fatalities in Iraq
New Hampshire

Missing|Captured
US Soldiers

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Eloquence + Dignity Defined

Erin Flanagan, New Hampshire.

Erin:

I never, in my life, saw such dignified composure under such stressful circumstances.
I am glad you had the time to present to the nation (at least those tuned in) the sad yet heroic story about your brother. Sadly, I googled what little facts I had, and could not find him online.

I will keep looking.




It's the least I can do for you.
I'm sure he is seated at the right hand of God, and is exceptionally proud of his sister.
My condolences to your family.

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COUNTDOWN
Don't Ask, Don't Tell
Republican Debates June 2007

If you DON'T ASK those boneheads any questions,
they WON'T TELL us all this bullshit.

In the midst of this war, this chaos,
what's with the SOCIAL EXPERIMENTATION going on with all the confusing messages????????

Countdown:

01.20.09

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My New Mantra


You tawking to me?
You're the only one in the theatre...
.
.
.
.
.
Let me show you the world
in my eyes.
-|Depeche Mode

Did you cover your eyes?
-|George Michael

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Can you READ?


Hey Kev? Still wanna go? Yeah?
Oh? The Times said it was disgusting?
Oh? You wanna see it for yourself and THEN form an opinion?
GGGRRRREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeeeeeeeeee-FUCKIN'-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

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Quote|Unquote

Wolf Blitzer
New Hampshire Republican Debates:

Tonight's debate will be in 2 halves.
.
.
.
Hey, Wolfie boy.
Are you sure there's 2 halves?

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Spelling!
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQ...


Hey! What's after R?
NOTHING!
What? This ain't enuff?

Huh?
Snuff?
What's that?

"Snuff" is what's on the Can't Nail News network.
Oh, right.
Hey. Have you seen Soledad + Miles lately?
Nope.
I heard that they're doing a story in Slovakia.
The Can't Nail News network put them up in this great HOSTEL.
Really? Damn. I miss them.
Yeah. Me, too.
Umm, wanna watch a movie?
"Oh, let's."

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Heineken.
It's all about the beer.


Wow!! This is the BEST party!
Yeah. Love the beer. What is it?
Heineken. You know, "it's all about the beer."
Really? Heineken was Freddie Mercury's favorite beer.
Who's Freddie Mercury?
Nevermind.
How'd you find this hostel anyway?
You know. Travelocity.
Really?
Yeah.
Wanna go to the art show tomorrow?
"Oh, let's."

H - 2, and drooling...

(Half-mast, for sure...)

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WTF??????


OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
NOW I get it.
According to Bishop Tom Tobin (Providence RI),
Catholics are "required" by their faith
to be, get this, "pro life."
AKA:
Keep havin' those babies or we won't have kids to molest...

Don't facilitate adoptions; that might be too beneficial to all the kids languishing away, tucked far from view.
And if you get raped, suffer for 9 months the indignity of the "moment" that won't ever go away.
And keep the newspaper headlines full of stories like "Baby Found in Trash" or "Baby Flushed Down Toilet."
Ummm, let's see.
How 'bout "Mother Hangs 4 Children" and "Mother Drowns 5 Children in Bathtub."
Whoops! Almost forgot. "Mother Drives Car Into Lake: 2 Boys Drown."

Don't let gay couples adopt...especially those babies with "special needs" (HIV+, disabled, blind et al)
You just make sure you remain "Pro Life" because your "religion" requires you to do so.

I heard this on the radio once, and then saw the compelling and unforgettable video:
losing my religion.

Vs

you just keep me hangin' on...

WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO?

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Huh? You call that a blow job?


Girl, you goin' to jail.
I don't care WHO your daddy is...

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Itinerary: Paris
Day 1

Media cluster at Hilton's jail...

Huh? Whaddya mean I can't see The Louvre?

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SHIT! I forgot my camera...


NEVER FEAR!

MacBook's here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here I come, to save the day!!!!

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Whaddya mean?
I can't take a picture?


Ok. I won't...I promise, he said sadly, as he returned to his truck...

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OrangeMercury
Down, and very, very dirty...

"BLOW ME"
said the Tree to Mother Nature...


Do I HAVE to? Mother Nature said to the Tree.
Yes. And make it a good one. You know, don't waste my time.
It ain't called a blow job for nothin'.
Now. Get to work. BITCH.

OK, Mother Nature said. If I have to.
I'll make this one you'll never, EVER forget...
...................................................................

Moral of the story?
NEVER fuck with Mother Nature.
She'll fulfill your request.
Just not in the way you expected...

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Oh, and one more thing...
Coming June 29

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'Scope


Yep. It's all coming together...

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Commercial break...


Stihl.
Power Tools for the cognoscenti.
The ultimate in table saws for your summer season.

Stihl.
When you care enough to use the very best...

Note: Sorry about the ketchup|catsup on the blade. That side of human ribs for the BBQ were really tough to cut.
A-1 Steaksauce? Worchestershire Sauce??
Damn. You got my mouth watering...

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PARIS HILTON
OFFICIAL MUG SHOT


Hey boys! Is this better than the other shot?
Ummm. Ummm. Paris?
Can you please put your clothes on!
Yep. The orange jumpsuit.

Paris:
Oh. I love orange.
Ya know, orange is the new black.
I've even got the shoes, AND a bag to match!

Ummm. Ahhh. Paris?
Please put SOMETHING on.
We've see the camel before. Yeah. The boobies too.
Remember that video???
Yep. It's on BoobTube, and we've already seen it...

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Slovakia Vacation Planning


Hey Bobbie Sue.
Yeah?
Wanna book that hostel we saw on Expedia DOT com?
"Oh, let's."
Race ya to the front desk...

H - 4...and counting.
(half mast, if you're wondering...)

OrangeMercury note:

Hmmmmm. Word play somewhere. Find it? Send me a note...

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CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION
Paris Nude!

Please be advised there is a photograph taken of Paris Hilton by the corrections officer of Paris exiting her limosine last night,
after the MTV Awards as she was being whisked away to the Poke-Me. THIS PHOTOGRAPH IS ABOUT FOUR POSTINGS BELOW THIS POSTING.

THIS PHOTOGRAPH, ©heaven666.org, is an "up-the-skirt" shot of Paris having a "problem" with her (all-to-revealing) panties.

DO NOT SAY YOU WEREN'T WARNED!
NOT SUITABLE FOR:
• CHILDREN
• VIEWING AT WORK
• THOSE OFFENDED BY EXPLICIT FEMALE NUDITY, HOWEVER ACCIDENTAL.

I WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR REACTION TO THIS PHOTOGRAPH, ©HEAVEN666.ORG.

YOU WERE ADVISED.
PLEASE GOVERN YOURSELVES ACCORDINGLY.

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Paris Hilton
Bag to match...


Paris:
What? Oh, you love my bag?
Who? Hermes, of course.

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Paris Hilton
Shoes to Match!


Paris: love my shoes? Whodathunk?
Oh. The designer? Uniroyal, out of Naugatuck, Connecticut.
God. I wish I lived in Connecticut

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CAUTION! Urgent note for all viewers!!!!!

The photographs after Paris' ideal prison garb contain material which is NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN and/or MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME READERS.

Female nudity is involved.
Specifically, the up-the-skirt photograph posted on Heaven666.org.

PLEASE BE ADVISED I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR VIEWING OF OR REACTION TO THIS PHOTOGRAPH.
©heaven666.org

Animal in a zoo: camel.
Body part: toe.

YOU DO THE MATH!!!!!!!!!!!

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Paris Hilton
Ideal Prison Garb


Ugh. I just can't get a good hairdresser or make-up artist in here.
Oh. My prison suit?
The Pink Pussycat, NYC.
They were so great with this couture garment.

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Paris Hilton
My First Mug Shot!


Hey boys. How's this?
What? Waddayamean I gotta do another shot?

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Paris Hilton
INDECENT EXPOSURE (seriously!)
NOT APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN
NSFW!!! (not suitable for work)


©heaven666.org

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Sunday, June 03, 2007

All Eyes on New Hampshire


Live free or stay together until we fucking well die.
I'm sure of it.

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MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY-cup


I'm really laughing at this one...
Somehow, this photo popped up in an ad in front of NETFLIX
(Don't even bother with that joke. I've already laughed at the irony.)

What REALLY kills me is:

a long time ago,
in a galaxy far, far away,
I learned to use MAKE-UP to "darken" in the ab lines.
(OH! so that's how it's done!)

So if you ain't wearing a stuffed T,
just grab your honey's REVLON,
or whateverthefuck it's called.

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Memory Lane
Hartford 1980


What's more shocking?
The ticket price? (Yep. $9.50...NO PHOTOSHOP!) or
the fact that yours truly was actually there?
That means I was 20 (really?) and SML was 9.
In any other context, you know where I'd end up...
Either end of the spectrum,
and I'd have a hard time believing the other.
One would be WTF! and the other would be NFW!

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Mama Mia!